The need for an external enemy
August 29, 2010
Da prez: “Say ‘yes we can’ “
S. Hawking: “No !”
Da prez: “Say ‘yes we CAN’ Steven“
S. Hawking: “Never !”
Da prez: “Look, just use those quantum mechanics to get some aliens over here, we’ll do the rest, there’s no need to worry.“
S. Hawking: “No ! It’s too much of a risk! If an alien race is capable of traveling to earth, that means that it’s technology is much more evolved than our own, and it will overpower us.”
Da prez: “Say ‘yes we CAN’ Steven. C’mon, do it already, we have the Star Wars shield all installed and ready, and we need something to shoot at for target practice. Some scaly bigheaded little green men will do nicely.“
S. Hawking: “Mr. president, in my academic opinion, it’s ludicrous to assume that …”
Da prez: “Look, you’re nodding. He’s nodding, everybody !”
S. Hawking: “You’re moving my head for me, that is a serious violation of my personal space and human rights.”
Da prez: “You’re nodding, and that’s a clear sign of agreement, legally binding in all states. And we have the joint chiefs of staff over here, present as witnesses.”
S. Hawking: “Mr. president, Euclidean Quantum Gravity, isn’t some kind of interstellar flare gun, … the formation and evolution of cosmic strings is a … “
Da prez: “Work your mojo, Steven. You can do it. One or two alien ships will do. It will be good for the economy, … we have private contractors ready and eager to blast the hell out of anything that leaps from a wormhole, within range. Why, it should even establish peace on earth. You know that there’s nothing better than an external enemy to solve internal conflict. Do you think those Taliban are gonna keep shooting at us, when they think some alien pervert is about to abduct one of their women ?”
S. Hawking: “Mr. president, if a man with an automatic rifle walked in, and you only had a rubber band, would you flick it at him ?”
Da prez: “Why not ? I might get him in the eye. And then he’d start shooting blindly, and the bullets would ricochet off the walls, and turn him into a colander.”
S. Hawking: “I already stated that using the Ballistic Missile Defense program in space, could have devastating consequences. The fallout of a nuclear explosion near the earth’s atmosphere…”
Da prez: “Puck puck puck … Puckuuck ! Besides, we have lasers now. Wait, what’s with this keyboard. Hey everybody, listen to what Steven Hawking is gonna say in a about a minute. Quick, somebody record this. If an oral agreement isn’t legally binding, I don’t know what is.”
Mathematical problem of understanding the ten dimensions
July 22, 2010
‘All possibilities are contained within the 10th dimension’
There’s a well known, and very insightful explanation available on You Tube, about the 10 dimension theory. Which apparently is the necessary theoretical assumption, to combine the Quantum theory with the theory of relativity. As I’ve mentioned before.
Don’t worry, I’m not at all claiming to be one of the few people who actually fully understand those theories. In fact, I even encounter some difficulties, somewhere around the 8th step of the following explanation:
I do understand up until the 7th dimension.
The initial conditions in our reality (the big bang and the laws of nature in our universe) and all the possible timelines (possible outcomes), can be considered as one ‘infinity’. One abstract point.
Different infinities are conceivable, when you assume different initial conditions and the associated possible timelines. Creating a second abstract point.
The theoretical line between those points (in the 7th dimension) – I suppose – would then be a relation. The extent to which one conceivable infinity relates to (differs from) another.
But then I get stuck on the next step:
“And as boggling as the magnitude of what we’re exploring here might be… If we were to branch off from that 7th dimensional line to draw a line to yet another infinity. We would then be entering the 8th dimension.”
The problem is that this is too boggling, if my mentioned presumption is correct. How can you ‘branch off’ from a relation. If you consider a 3rd point, then that point would have separate and independent relations to the 1st and 2nd points. (The animation of the three points would then be a triangle, still in the 7th dimension. Rather than a Y shape, in the 8th dimension.)
But instead, I gather that the 3rd point is some sort of a variation on the relation. A new possible relation. Which I don’t understand, when the points themselves do not change.
So I must admit “8. A split”. Is beyond me.
The horror can not be unseen
July 20, 2010
Unless this guy is a time traveller that went back to scare himself as a kid, as a warning to take better care of his body, … which I admit is pretty unlikely… Someone should have sicced hordes of riot police on him, by means of damage & trauma control.
Busy day
June 1, 2010
4 hours of training, after regular job hours. Excel finance…
Man, that software has so many levels and possibilities. Way passed the boring formatting options, and the standard formula’s, and the ‘advanced excel options for autistic nerds with a sexlife’… and way more interesting than the mythical Excel flight simulator, hidden in there somewhere.
There’s even an interactive ’10-dimensions’ simulator. So you can surf a graviton-wave in 10 D while riding a cyborg whale that can’t shut up about superbowl statistics. And then there’s that crazy macro in cell XXZ4400 , that is activated when you type in blasphemy, and then sends a bolt of lightning through the mouse. And the ’V-look up undisclosed FBI files’ formula is pretty interesting stuff too. I didn’t know Jim Morrisson was the 2nd shooter on the grassy knoll and that the original lyrics to the song were ‘This is the end, … Kennedy’ Nor that Dr. Phil is a residivist cannibal who is wanted in 34 states.
Or maybe I dozed off and dreamt some of it, I’m not sure.
Timelords on spacedrugs
May 27, 2010
I was looking for some music from The Eels. But I soon came across this entertaining bit of strangeness from the BBC. Looks like Dr. Who ‘s phonebooth accidently flew through a cosmic storm of magic mushroomdust, somewhere in the space-time continuum. Causing him and his fellow-timelords to grab some instruments, in order to compose a song about the dangers of Alien Parasitic Eels.
How to lose 10.000 $ in a Time Travel Paradox
May 11, 2010
In need of the extra cash, I answered the add, which turned out to be from this fellow . We went back to Detroit in 1930, because he needed some help to hold a safety net, to catch a baby that was about to fall out of some window. Sure enough, the infant came tumbling down and we caught and saved it.
As I was folding up and hiding the net, mr. Figlock returned the baby to it’s mother. She recognized the savior, because he had saved the same baby from falling to it’s death before, about a year earlier. This double intervention is (still) a historical fact. But to some extent, history has since then changed dramatically non the less.
The mother was grateful enough, but as we were leaving the scene, we were followed by some sinister people. And we had to shoot our way out. Turns out they were also timetravellers. Which were trying to kill the baby. The child happened to be Robert (John) Wagner, who later in life was destined to become a famous actor, popular enough to be selected the 40th president of the USA, in 1981. The assassins were contracted by political adversaries of president Wagner. (Something to do with the cold war, and the funding of Iran in a war vs Iraq at the time.) While Figlock was on the payroll of the FBT² (Federal Bureau of TimeTravel)
But even though we managed to save the baby, the second fall out of the window must have set off a chain of events that prevented Wagner from becoming president. Because I just looked it up, and instead of him, apparently some guy called Ronald Reagan became the 40th president ?!
Add to that some major personal consequences, as this turn of events resulted in us not getting paid. No president Wagner, meant no FBT², so no funding of the timetravel program. Which meant no “intervention fees” for free agents like ourselves. In fact, according to the current records, we were never even hired to go back, to save Wagner.
Having actually done so non the less, is a paradox. The new preconditions that were set by our latest intervention, caused subsuquent events to develope separately from the original circumstances. But because we didn’t follow the historical path to return to this alternate future – as we returned through the space time continuum wormhole – we still remember Wagner’s original future. Aswel as the assignment given to us by his protectors.
Good thing we had one timetravel cartidge left to get back here, because there’s no way to buy new ones, as this technology apparently hasn’t been invented in this reality.
The full potential of sales marketing for Black Holes
June 29, 2008
The Hadron Collidor, a large particle accelerator, being built by CERN (The European Organization for Nuclear Research) in Geneva.
Here’s the countdown for its activation.
Now, as far as I gathered so far , … the study of particle physics, could prove the M theory, which is an extended String theory, which tries to unify Quantum Mechanics and the Theory of Relativity. Simply put, in the particle accelerator, f.i. the ‘leakage’ of gravitation particles into another dimension could be witnessed. This would prove the existence of multiple dimensions, besides the 4 we know and live in. The existence of 10 to 11 dimensions is the mathematical precondition for Quantum Mechanics and the Theory of Relativity to be consistent with one another. But so far, it’s just a theory which hasn’t been empirically proven.
There is some worrying that these experiments could create ‘mini black holes’, that might threaten our existence though. But to let that stop us from giving it whirl, would really be woossy. And a lot can be said about mankind, but no alien race should dare to call us woosses. That’s why we broadcast Jackass tapes through the cosmos, by the way.
A black hole opening up in front of you on the highway, can indeed be a nuisance. But just drive around it.
And imagine the possibilities ! A black hole in your basement, means you will never have to buy garbage bags again, and trash will no longer pile up on your local dumpsite. Just throw it in from a safe distance (I advise about 3 meters away), and it will simply be compressed to an infinite density!
Black Holes could easily replace energyconsuming office papershredders, and competing companies (or tax reviewers) won’t have to bother with trying to tape those reports back together.
There are more illegal perks: when cops try to ‘raid your pad’, … there goes the Mary Jane, into the Black Hole, … and all the evidence is disposed of nicely. They probably won’t jump in after it.
No more lame ‘the dog ate my homework’ excuses… ‘I came too close to the black hole again today, miss’.
